I do a lot of praying for my family, but always feel like I should be praying more. Praying reminds me that this home is not built by my hands, but by God’s hand alone. There are times when my prayers are about the daily challenges and struggles, but most often I am asking God what our family will look like in three generations, five generations, or more.

I’m often wondering what the future holds.

Will anyone know my name five generations from now?

What trials they will have to face?

How much mercy and goodness will follow them?

It’s not my name that I want generations from now to know; it’s my God that I want them to know. God has done incredible and magnificent things in my life. I often consider my choices based off of how this might look if it’s spoken of when I’m gone. It’s my desire to live intentionally today so that I can leave a crumb trail of God’s mercy behind me, so generations yet to be born can benefit from the truth, “His mercy endureth forever.”

I don’t desire for any grandbabies or great-grandbabies to have my name, but I beg God they will have His engraved on their hearts. I’ve always told the children as they grew, “Go love God more than I do. Be a better parent, a better wife, a better friend.” I don’t want them to be the same or less.

I want the brick and mortar of our family to grow stronger and stronger with each generation.

The brick and mortar of the Home

Layer upon layer each generation builds the family home.

Faith, Love, Patience, Long-suffering, Sacrifice, Hope, Kindness, Gentleness, Forgiveness, Repentance, Hard-work, and the list could go on and on.

Imagine each of these characteristics as bricks and God’s Spirit as the mortar that holds all our feeble attempts together. Consider how marriage is the second foundational layer of the home (the first foundation layer being each relationship with Christ).

The foundation in our family contains some crumbling bricks, unset mortar, and unsecured shallow foundations. I guess we are no different than anyone else.

I am often reminded of the verse found in Proverbs.

Proverbs: 14:1, “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

It’s foolish for us to think that our thoughts, words, or actions are neutral. I’ve had this conversation with many women, “Is what I eat for breakfast really that important?” Well, yes. It feeds your body, which fuels you for the day.

God often reveals the subtle ways I’ve ripped my home apart.

There have been times my hands were guilty of destroying because they were idle, and other times they killed because they were too busy. There have been times I allowed my words to break the hearts of those who listened, and times I failed in remaining silent.

No matter what the situation in front of us, we are wise when we understand the gravity of our choices and how we can use them to propel ourselves, our marriages, and our homes forward.

We build a home, brick upon brick, layer upon layer, and precept upon precept.

Three steps to a proven building plan:

• Check the foundation of your home first by checking the depth of your relationship with Christ.
• Evaluate your marriage and ensure that you are joint heirs together in the grace of life. If not, pray for your spouse. Be an example of God’s love and watch and wait with anticipation at all that God can do.
• Consider your parenting. It’s not your job to show your children a perfect parent. No. You must teach them how to live as forgiven Sinners.

Friends, there will be trials in life and plain old ugly sin that will come in and tear down what’s been built. None of us are escaping this life without trials. So let’s be intentional to respond to them with grace and courage that only comes from Christ.

Homes that thrive aren’t homes that escaped the trials or had no troubles. They aren’t the homes where people made all the right choices. No, homes that thrive are homes that God blessed through humble sinners who did their best.

Let our homes be a testimony on the greatness of God not boasting on us.

With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

The post How to Build a Home: The Brick and Mortar of a Christian Home appeared first on Mrs. Joseph Wood.

Picture this.

You’ve battled toddlers with tummy bugs, cleaned up the bathroom floor more times than you can count, had unexpected tasks that demanded your attention, not to mention, the laundry baskets that are overflowing and the sink is somewhere under a pile of dishes.

You’re still in the fight. You’ve determined that you’re going to accomplish the primary survival tasks for the day and go to bed with a clean house and happy family!

You plop yourself down in bed exhausted. Then it happens, you hear your husband’s request for intimacy. (Let’s be honest, you know what is on his mind before he even said a word.)

You’re at a crossroad.

How will you respond?

What do we do when we don’t feel like being intimate?

First, know this, chances are we’ve all been there at least once before. It’s not just exhaustion that gets us; it’s hormones, stress, medical issues, and the list could go on.  Here are my three best tips to help you navigate those situations of intimacy.

• Prioritize

Don’t let your marriage bed be the last thing on your mind. Instead, start the day with intimacy in mind. Make sure your commitments won’t interrupt this time with your spouse.

• Pray

If there are areas of concern that keep you from feeling connected to your husband. Commit those to prayer and talk with others who can join you in prayer and support.

• Communicate

Communication is a HUGE component of intimacy. It’s essential that you communicate your needs to your husband and that he can communicate his needs with you. If you know you won’t be available for sexual intimacy, share that information with your spouse before the lights go off, so he’s aware of how you’re feeling.

What Does God Have to Say About Intimacy?

These tips don’t guarantee you won’t ever have this experience. Hopefully, what they do is help you navigate them successfully. As with so many other areas of marriage, intimacy is about each party esteeming the other person more than themselves. It’s about both parties remembering the sacredness of intimacy shared in marriage.

With that said, it’s vital that we don’t deny our spouse of this time of intimacy without careful consideration. In fact, the Scriptures say

1.Corinthians 7:4 “Defraud ye not one the other, except it, be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”

What’s interesting to me about this passage is that it uses the word, ‘defraud”. This word comes from the Greek word, apostero, which means to defraud, spoil, or rob. Oh, how many marriages we see in this state of spoilage!

Defrauding Our Spouses

Take a moment to think on this.

When we consider the actual meaning of this word, defraud, we can see the danger in not being honest with one another through intimacy. Maybe you’ve never done this. Perhaps you have and you’ve just never thought of it as defrauding your spouse. Here are some examples to consider.

• Pretending you’re asleep.
• Spoiling Intimacy by participating with a poor attitude.
• Robbing our spouse in intimacy because He didn’t do something we wanted him to do.

Chances are we can see dangers of defrauding our spouse through intimacy. Some of these dangers come as obvious and substantial issues; others are small and subtle yet just as destructive.

In Conclusion

We can not deny the fact that healthy marriages include two individuals who cheerfully make themselves available to the other person.

We also know that we can’t do anything good on our own. Our marriages are a result of God’s goodness through us, not ours. Let’s not be deceived into thinking that we are the ones that create a delightful marriage bed. That is only a work that the Lord can do.

Keep your eyes on the Lord, seek His protection for your marriage bed, so that, Satan tempts us not for our inconsistency.

Remember, walk in patience and unity in Intimacy. There is much instruction for couples about being in agreement about finances, child training, or other life situations yet they fail to discuss the importance of unity in intimacy. If you didn’t have this conversation before marriage, it’s not too late to have it now.

I’m praying for our marriages. May God be glorified through them!

Until our next chat,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

The post Intimacy in the Christian Marriage- Part 4 appeared first on Mrs. Joseph Wood.

Remember when we discussed how we should behave, and I mentioned that we were to put 1 Peter 2:9 into action? Let’s examine this verse again.

1 Peter 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;

Pornography has no part in the Christian Marriage. Let us be aware and alert, pornography is part of the darkness spoken of in this passage. 

Pornography will undermine the foundation of your marriage. Remember, Proverbs 19:14? A prudent wife is from the Lord. Let’s take a look at the definition of prudent, “acting with or showing care and thought for the future.” We must consider what we are allowing in this area of intimacy. 

When I talk to women about this subject, finding common ground on the devastating impact of pornography isn’t the issue. The issue most often comes down to the fact that either the husband or the wife (Yes, wives struggle in this area too!) are struggling with the shame and addiction of pornography. It has impacted their relationship to such a depth that often the very foundation of their marriage is crumbling! 

Many times they know that what they are doing is not shewing “forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;”  Yet, they are unclear how to develop thoughts that are Biblically accurate. 

First, let me say that if it is your spouse that struggles in this area, there is Hope! 

God reminds us that all sin leads to death. You can pray for your spouse and this issue of pornography just like you would want your spouse to pray for your struggle with gossip, slothfulness, or not honoring your parents. 

Secondly, I would encourage you to show respect for your husband while you remain pure in your conduct. Even unsaved husbands can be won to the Lord, not by our words, but by our behavior. We have a great responsibility to the Lord for how we behave! 

1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct

Lastly, I want to encourage you to be patient. Overcoming sin in our lives can take time. It’s God that does the restoration work. We know we can’t do anything good on our own. It is God alone that will complete the good work that He has begun. We must be confident in His ability and His timing!

Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: 

Five Tips To Overcome Pornography Within The Christian Marriage: 

1. Confess! You must first acknowledge that pornography is a sin.
2. Create a system of accountability in your life with people you can trust and be transparent with
3. Remove all temptation as you can, but remember attractions will always present themselves. It’s how we respond to those temptations that is critical! Make sure you turn the other way! 
4. Read, Study, and Apply the Word every day. It is only God’s Word that is promised not to return void! 
5. Repent day by day! If you fall, don’t stay there.. get back up and strive to do right! 

I know that in the midst of the struggle, our confidence can tire. Often these personal struggles remain unspoken until they have taken a toll on the marriage altogether. Don’t isolate yourself!

Hear me clearly, “Do not let the shame of sin keep you from overcoming sin!”

You are not alone!! Dear friend, do not grow weary in well doing! Get connected with women who will support you to love your husband in a way that shews forth His praises. 

Do you have specific questions about this topic? Then take a moment to jot me a note. I would love to hear from you and answer questions as the Lord leads.

Because of His Love, 

Mrs. Joseph Wood 

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Now, onto this week’s post: How Then Should We Behave?

Before we address the details of our behavior, It’s essential for us to establish our role in the marriage. If we know “who” we are in our marriages, it helps us understand “how” we should act in our marriages.

Proverbs 18:22

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing,

The Scripture tells us that a man who finds a wife has found a “good” thing and “obtaineth favor” of the Lord. Proverbs 18:22 has been an instrumental passage for me in learning how I should conduct myself within the home. It’s important for us to remember that our daily lives should be a daily testimony of our faith in Christ. Our behavior should be in such a way that it is “good” and displays the “favor” of God!

In our home, we have consistently told our daughters that they are a princess (my Joe tells them their mommy is too). We don’t say this, so our daughters act like snobs. Instead, we want them to understand that once they give their hearts to Christ, they are royalty and should behave as such!  I think this is easy for us to tell our daughters, but somehow we forget it along the way. We need to remember we are a princess and we should behave as such.

1 Peter 2:9

But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:

We are a royal people! Everything we do should look different! No matter what activity we are involved in we should be living as a daughter of the King, a princess!

Do you know “who” you are in Christ?

Once we know “who” we are we can discover “how” we should behave!

I love that last part of the verse in 1 Peter. “that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.”

It’s critical for the Christian marriage to be a continuation of showing forth the praises of God. Our marriage testimony should praise Him who has called us out of “darkness and into His marvellous light.”

Does your marriage bed resemble this Truth? It should!

As we continue to seek the Word for details on our behave let’s look at these passages of Scripture:

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil. Proverbs 31: 11-12 

House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: And a prudent wife is from the Lord. Proverbs 19:14

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: But she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews13:4 

With the above passages as a reference, what can we learn about our behavior?

First, let’s make sure that our conduct is “safe” for our husbands. We need to ask ourselves does my behavior cause my husband any harm, evil, or spoil?  Is the way I dress, speak, behave “safe” or does it lead them to dangerous thoughts and actions that cause them spiritual harm?  A practical example of this point would be to make sure you’re not allowing things of “darkness” into the bedroom. It’s okay to dress in a way that is attractive to your husband. It is not okay to dress in a way that resembles what the Scriptures refer to as a “strange” woman.

Secondly, we should understand that the application of being prudent in this area of our marriage will protect the future of our marriage. Just consider the definition of prudent, “Acting with or showing care and thought for the future.” Have you given thought to how you can be prudent in this area of your marriage?

• A practical example in this area would be the multiple ways we can show careful thought for the future of our marriage through the present moment. Before you speak or act, ask yourself,  “how does this impact the health of our marriage?” Am I building my marriage up by my actions and words or am I undermining its foundation?  Am I tearing down my home with my own hands?

Intimacy in the Christian marriage was God’s idea; there should be no shame!

Lastly, we need to make sure that we are honoring the marriage union in all of our actions!  It’s vital that we do not want to undermine our marriage in any way. Each of us has been called out of the darkness and into His marvelous light! Therefore, we should not be doing or saying anything that brings shame! If there is shame in these intimate moments, it will only bring rottenness!

Genesis 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Our moments of intimacy in marriage should show forth His praise! God created this act of oneness so that even in this we can declare His Glory!

As you consider these passages, does it help you see a clear picture of how you should behave when dealing with intimacy in the Christian marriage?

Thank you to everyone that took the time to write me. I am encouraged by the comments and messages that came through.I hope this series will give us the opportunity to answer those heart questions that are often too hard to ask. Please write me anytime privately or leave a comment. I want to see your marriage thrive.

In much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

All Scriptures were copied from The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version.). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

The post How Then Should We Behave? Part 2 appeared first on Mrs. Joseph Wood.

So let’s see if I can help bring our attention back to Truth for the answers on intimacy in the Christian marriage.

There are so many personal factors that go into a subject like this. It usually’s best as a conversation one on one with each other. I will have to answer “generally” and pray that God uses this post to help you experience the beauty of intimacy that He created!

Intimacy: God is not silent.

God cares deeply about His people experiencing the pleasure of intimacy between husband and wife.

We were created to glorify God, and while it may seem odd to some or uncomfortable at first, we most definitely can glorify God in the marriage bed.

So, what does God have to say on this subject? How do we glorify Him in this area of our lives?

God has plenty to say!

It all started in Genesis!

Genesis 1: 27-28 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Ge 1:27–28). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Ge 2:18). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

Intimacy in the Christian Marriage

Intimacy in the Christian Marriage is not merely a physical act. It’s about a spiritual and emotional connection as well! 

God established the union of marriage between a man and woman from the very beginning. It is God’s plan for one man and one woman to be joined in marriage. This marriage is the establishment of a family unit in which children will be born and raised for His glory. However, that wasn’t his only purpose of creating this union! If you examine Scripture, you’ll see that God provides comfort through intimacy in marriage (Isaac comforted by Rebekah. Genesis 24:67). Other passages talk to us about the delight of intimacy (Song of Solomon 7:6-12), and others warn us of neglecting this area of our marriage.

 1 Corinthians 7:5  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency

The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., 1 Co 7:5). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

Our faith should be seen in the intimate moments with our spouse. 

God created us to “know” each other through this intimate act of marriage on a regular basis. So then, how does it become something beautiful and Holy when the World seems to have made it merely an act of human instinct with no rules, no boundaries, and its only purpose is self-satisfaction?

Friends intimacy becomes a Holy experience only when we direct our hearts to God. Yes, even thru the intimate moments between husband and wife.

When we turn off the lights, we don’t turn off our faith.

I have spoken to far too many women who have neglected this Truth in their marriage. For one reason or another, they find themselves incorporating the World’s ideas in their bedroom only to see themselves heartbroken and their marriages falling apart. Friends, we must allow God to rule our hearts and thoughts especially within the intimacy of our marriages.

Boy, there’s a lot for us to talk about on this topic isn’t there?! Make sure you send your specific questions to me, and I will include them anonymously in this series.

Here are a few questions that have already come in that we’ll be tackling in this series.

• “How are we to behave in this most intimate time of marriage?”
• “What is okay and what’s not okay in the marriage bed?” (This is probably the question that is asked of me most.)
• “How do I help my husband who struggles with pornography?” (Second most asked question)
• What if I don’t “feel” like being intimate with my husband?”

Are these a few of the questions you’ve had? Do you have other questions? Make sure you send me a message, and I will try to include your question in our series as well.

Join me for Intimacy in the Christian Marriage Part 2 on Monday.

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

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She, the Strange Woman, wants YOUR husband; she wants MY husband! In fact, when we look through the Scriptures we see she isn’t just sitting casually by waiting for him. She is lurking for him. She is seeking him out to destroy him.

My husband and I had a talk the other night about the “strange woman” and how she disguises herself. I told my Joe, “Often the Strange Woman goes to a man and tries to “friend” him, she compliments him, his wife, his family, his work. She shows interest and invites “friendly” conversation that soon becomes a personal conversation.” I suggested to my husband that it was critical for our men to be on guard of this strange woman who draws our men into the rooms of her home that lead to death!

I know we might feel comfortable and think, “Does this Strange Woman really want MY husband?” the answer to that question is YES! Maybe we think our husband is too strong to fall into her devices, let’s not fool ourselves! Satan is after our strong men. In fact, read Proverbs 7: 24-27 “Hearken unto me now, therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth. Let not thine heart decline to her ways; go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded; yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, leading down to the chambers of death.”

So, what is our role in marriage when the Strange Woman is calling for our husband’s attention? Here are some passages that offer us direction and a plan to overcome her devices.

Wisdom-we need to pray that our husbands have Wisdom!. Our husband needs His thoughts in order to avoid her traps! Proverbs 2: 16 “Wisdom will deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger, who flattereth with her words”

Proverbs 7: 4-6 “Say unto wisdom, “Thou art my sister,” and call understanding thy kinswoman, that they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the harlot who flattereth with her words.”

Refrain from conversations with the Strange Woman– Multiple passages tell us that it is the conversation, the honey that drips from her lips, that entices our men. This should be a huge wake-up call for us. We must guard our conversations with our husband. We need to make sure we are listening and not just talking. Let’s not give the Strange Woman a window of opportunity because we’re too distracted in “life” to realize his need for conversation! Proverbs 5: 3-6 “For the lips of a strange woman drip as a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but her end is as bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell. Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are wandering, that thou canst not know them.”

Remain steadfast in obedience to His Word-Proverbs 6: 20-24  ^“My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother. Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp, and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life to keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.”

My prayer is that the Lord gives us Wisdom and grace in our marriage so that we might glorify Him. By His strength, our marriages can withstand all the fiery darts of our adversary! May our homes be pillars of hope to a hurting and lost world so that our lives testify of His mercy and faithfulness toward His people.

Because of Him,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

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