Life often reminds me of those action-packed shows my husband watches.

You know the ones.

Someone runs onto a battlefield, screaming some crazy battle cry, unprotected from the bullets that breeze by, while you cringe and cry, “NO! Don’t do it!”

That’s how I feel when I watch women running out onto the battlefield, crying some crazy mantra or latest fad quote, unprotected while the enemy is taking shots at them and their family!

Truthfully, that’s exactly how I look more times than I’d like to admit.

A few weeks ago, I sat talking with my cello instructor about all the hats we wear as women. We were talking about the emotional toll that life can take on us if we live in this reactive state. We both shared the lessons we’ve learned on how to handle full lives.

Friends, there is a lot of conversation about living in the moment, being present, and living intentionally. I even travel to speak on the subject, but the reality is we can’t do any of these things if we’re living life like a ping pong ball bouncing from one crisis or task to the next.

That’s when I have to tell myself, “Stop. Slow down, and stop reacting to life.”

Reacting versus Responding

How can we know the difference?

First, we have to acknowledge there is a difference between the two. We can’t treat reactions and responses as synonyms in our thought process, language, or actions.

According to Psychology Today, “A reaction is typically quick, without much thought, tense and aggressive.  A response is thought out, calm and non-threatening.”

Once we clearly define the difference between reactions and responses we need to learn how to incorporate thoughtful responses in our daily tasks.

How to become more responsive and less reactive.

Learning this life skill can take a good part of our life, and while we’ll get better over time that’s no excuse for us not to pursue growth in this area each day.

I’ve developed a three-step process for me to consider as I grow in this area of responsiveness, maybe it will be helpful for you too.

• Processing
• Prayer
• Purpose

Let’s start with the power of processing.

I define processing as the act of slowing down (sometimes even removing myself from the situation) to consider and test my thoughts and actions against the will of God. When I take this time to consider MY thoughts and MY actions compared to taking time to steam over someone else’s words or actions it helps me quiet my heart and respond instead of reacting.

James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

Proverbs 21: 23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.

Proverbs 18:13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

Science agrees. Dr. Henry Cloud shares, “ Neuroscience shows us that if you just take a moment to identify what you are feeling, especially in a frustrating situation or relationship, and name that emotion, it can mean all the difference in the world … The reason is that labeling a feeling brings brain functioning to a much higher level … engages other parts of yourself vs. your “reactive” brain which will usually get you into trouble at such moments. But to stop, look inward, observe yourself, and label what you are feeling, slows down the reaction and gives you lots of other resources to choose a better response.”

The power of Prayer

There’s no sense of processing a situation or a relationship if I’m not processing in prayer and mindfulness of the will of God. Believe me; my flesh doesn’t need more time to “process.” However, I am always rewarded when I take more time in prayer and reading the Word. It slows my actions and clarifies my thoughts. The process of prayer creates a more responsive nature in me.

Daniel 9:18 O my God, incline thine ear, and hear; open thine eyes, and behold our desolations, and the city which is called by thy name: for we do not present our supplications before thee for our righteousnesses, but for thy great mercies.

Phillippians 4:5-7 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Psalm 34:15 The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry.

The Power of Purpose

Living a purposeful life may appear to some that we are too slow when the truth is, we’re deliberate, thoughtful, and responsive. Responsive women know the dangers of an action chosen or a word spoken in haste.

We also know the power of our words the depths of our influence that can cross the boundaries of time and impact generations not yet born.

Because of our awareness, we choose to be responsive women who have first spent time with God before we speak or act.

In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise. ~ Proverbs 10:19

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise. ~ Proverbs 12:15

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. ~ Proverbs 15:1

Friends, learning to respond instead of reacting is difficult for many of us. It can be challenging to respond appropriately in the midst of critical moments. I’m confident we’ll only get better at it once we spend time with the Lord in prayer and the study of His Word.

Before we close today, I want to invite you to join me on the blog for the next few weeks while I continue to share on this topic. We will be discussing the women in Scripture who chose responsiveness instead of reactiveness and what we can learn from their lives. I hope you’ll join me and share your comments and thoughts as well.

May we each grow in this area of responsiveness and reflect the character of God- All for His glory and our good!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

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“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Jn 16:33). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

Yesterday, the family sat after Bible study discussing some of the Truths we had just read.

As it often happens in our home, Bible study ended, and a family meeting/conversation began. One of the children commented on making sure to resist pride when they have success. They shared how they picture themselves successful and how they purpose to respond to those situations.

Then, I asked… “Who are you in the trial?”

The room became quiet, and everyone thought for a moment. I continued, “We can often picture ourselves having success. What we would do with a million dollars, what we would do if this business deal works out, or if this move takes place, but do we ever picture who we want to be in the trial?”

Trials can take us by surprise. We are wise to consider our response in advance, so we are purposeful in the decisions we make and words we choose to speak. Consider who you want to be when financial, health, family or any other trials happen. Will you whine, complain, get angry at God? Or will you decide ahead of time to say like Paul,

Philippians 4:11

“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things, I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

There are two things for sure in the Christian life: Sin and Affliction. There will be troubles. Salvation does not grant us a free pass from trials instead it offers us an eternal Hope in the midst trials. How many times, have I cried out for the Lord to lead me to green pastures, to make me rest, and to anoint my head in the presence of…

Who do the Scriptures tell us are standing by watching?

Our enemy!!!

Even in green pastures, even in places where He leads, our enemy is standing by watching, waiting, ready, just as a lion to attack. Who will you be when the enemy decides to make his move?

1 Peter 5:8 

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:”

Now is the time for each of us to decide who we will be in the times of trial.

Who will I become in the Trials?

I had a dream some time ago. Suddenly standing before the Lord, I didn’t see him or anything else for that matter. Everything was light, but I knew I was standing before the Lord. With bewilderment and surprise, I said, “Is that it? is it over?” I didn’t hear Him reply, but I knew His answer was, yes. With a deep sigh, I replied, “Lord there’s still so much I didn’t get done. I would try to accomplish something, and then a trial would arise.” His reply woke me from my sleep, “The trials made you love me more.” I knew He was right. Had it not been for the trials I would have fallen in love with this world.

Discover 5 Essential Ways to overcome trials.

1. Study the Scriptures for heroes of old who have given us an account of their trials and how they responded. Lor for similarities, list the negatives as warning signs and the positives as guides.
2. Write your discoveries in your journal under a page titled, “How to Navigate the Trials.”
3. Pray. Ask the Lord to strengthen you in your weakness, reveal areas of growth, and give you the courage, tenacity, and peace through the process.
4. Connect with others. Finding a group of women to support you through the trials before they arise is always helpful, but it’s never too late. Get plugged in with ladies who want to pray for you and encourage your success. If you need help, email me and I’d love to connect you with others.
5. Encourage and help someone else who’s in the midst of a trial. One of the best ways I’ve found my way out from under the pressure of the trial was in helping someone else. When I focus on my trials, they grow larger, however, when I focus on helping others somehow my trials seem dim.
6. Trials cannot be an excuse for us to not accomplish what God has set before us. Yes, it’s challenging; life is not comfortable. However, if we’re intentional and thoughtful before the trial we can navigate them more successfully.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer once said, “When Christ calls a man He bids him come and die.”  

I pray that God will show Himself strong in my weakness; I pray for the courage to crucify my flesh, the same flesh that will fight against that death. Finally, I pray that I will be a vessel who brings Him eternal glory instead of seeking my temporal comfort.

If the thought of trials brings us, anxiety let us consider this beautiful reminder from Robert Hall:

“If your mind is overcharged or overwhelmed with trouble and anxiety, go into the presence of God. Spread your case before Him. Though He knows the desires of your hearts, yet He has declared He “will be sought after;” He will be “inquired to do it for you.” Go, therefore, into the presence of that God who will at once tranquilize your spirit, give you what you wish, or make you more happy without it, and who will be your everlasting consolation, if you trust in Him. He will breathe peace into your soul, and command tranquillity in the midst of the greatest storms. How much are they to be pitied who never pray.”

Fixing Our Eyes On Eternity

Let us not look for our treasure, comfort, or a life free of trials here on this earth. Instead, let us set our eyes on eternity, take up our cross, and follow Him!

Who are you in the trials? Life has plenty of them to help us answer this question.

Until our next chat,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

P.S. If you’ve not read our devotion in Proverbs, go read it today. The Apple of God’s Eye: Proverbs 7: 1-2 

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And then I waited, and I waited. It seemed like I waited for weeks when in reality it was only hours that had lead to days.

Three Surprising Tips to Master Patience

1. Grow in Grace
2. Faith in His ability is more than trusting the process; it’s trusting our Creator.
3. Cultivate Gratitude

Learn to rest on your hoe while growing in grace

In my impatience, I took my hand shovel, went outside, and started digging up each seed I had planted. Yes, you read that right. I dug my seeds up before they sprouted. I observed that some of the seeds had “long stringy things” so I discarded them as rotten. There were other times when I tiled the rows from weeds when in reality I was removing my brand new seedlings. My mother in law would later tell me, “Jeanette, you need to learn to rest on your hoe.” She continued her conversation, over tea, explaining the importance of waiting while gardening. Over the years, I learned to enjoy this waiting process. The lessons from my garden have been numerous.

It’s not only gardening that requires patience, is it?

Today, I am reminded of 2 Peter 3:18

“Grow in Grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.”

Have you ever been impatient with growth in your life? Growth can look messy like those sprouting seeds. There are times when we are tempted to discard the process of growth. Times when we are impatient with the growth and blind to our progress. I’m sure that is why we were given this reminder from Philippians.

Faith in His ability is more than trusting the process; it’s trusting our Creator.

Whenever I hear someone tell me, “trust the process” it makes me cringe. I don’t normally trust processes. Consider the DMV, do you trust their process? I know I don’t. or what about the court system do you trust their process? We’d like to right? But the reality is I don’t. However, when I put my faith in God’s ability then the process is nothing more than the journey I must travel. If there’s anything I’ve learned in my 50 years of life, it’s that I can be confident in Him, His abilities, and His plan for my life- even when it’s difficult.

Philippians 1:6

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”

The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Php 1:6). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

Cultivate Gratitude

To allow grace to grow in our lives we must cultivate gratitude. Removing weeds of complacency, doubt, fear, and entitlement and instead cultivate gratitude, remembering His faithfulness and goodness toward us.

Psalm 107:1 

O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: For his mercy endureth forever.

The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Ps 107:1). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

I need to remember my mother in laws words and apply them to my spiritual life. Resting on my “hoe” is essential. Resting allows the grace that God has planted to grow at His pace and not my own.  With grateful hearts, let us be confident that He alone will complete the good work He has begun. If you’re on a journey of growing in grace don’t miss my post, “Grace in the Wilderness.” 

Until our next chat.

Mrs. Joseph Wood

P.S. Totally random, but If you’re a garden lover (or maybe you’re just like me and enjoy playing in the dirt) go to my friend’s site and purchase your heirloom garden seeds. You’ll find a beautiful assortment, high-quality seed and be supporting a lovely family in the process!

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Don’t take it personally.  Are you serious?

Friends, it may not be what we want to hear, but it’s what we need to hear. (Yes, I ducked as I typed those words.)

We should hear, “Don’t take it personally” in both good and hard times. It’s vital that we hear these words when we’re living in our highest moments too. When all our work finally pays off, and we’re enjoying the benefits. We need to have someone who’s brave enough to say, “Don’t take it personally.”

This past summer, John Maxwell was reminding me that we’re never as good as our success and never as bad as our failures. He challenged me to not take life personally. I decided to accept the challenge and use the quiet moments of reflection to ponder the importance of not taking things personally.  To help me, I’ve posted a note saying “Good, bad, high or low don’t take it personally” on my bathroom mirror.

Let’s cultivate this type of authenticity in our lives and relationships.

I’m not suggesting that we disengage or stop living purpose-driven lives. What I am suggesting is that we live invested lives instead of “taking things personally” lives!

You may be asking, How is this even possible? Great question! Let’s talk about this more.

Invested People vs. Taking it Personally People

For this conversation investing is the practice of giving. Invested people pour into another person or the project at hand. A person who is taking things personally is putting on the opinions of others. They allow circumstances or people to determine their worth or lack of worth.

Ponder that for a moment.

When we invest in the people God’s put before us or the tasks He’s given us, we become invested people. We bounce back in disappointment and overcome obstacles. We stand tall in moments of rejection, or when someone has spoken ill of us. Invested people are giving people.

Individuals who are “taking it personally” people are “taking” people. People who take the moments of success or failure and wear them just like they would wear their favorite dress. They take credit for the results and become the opinions of others. They are result focused instead of duty focused.

One of my favorite quotes is from John Quincy Adams. “Duty is ours. Results are God’s.”

“Don’t take it personally” just may be the most powerful four words we could apply to our lives. What could we accomplish if we focused on our duty and not on the results? How could grace be seen in our lives if we didn’t take things personally?

Until our next chat,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

You might also enjoy:

Is that you Lord, or my hormones again?

5 Tips to Successfully Implement New Daily Habits 

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Over a cup of coffee, my sons sat with me in the morning discussing this topic. We asked the question, “Why is it so easy to swing the pendulum?” We decided that Balance must be a character of the Lord, something we must develop by grace. If you think about it, our flesh is always at war with the nature that Christ would have us embrace.

“Just as your car runs more smoothly when the wheels are in perfect alignment. You perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.” ~ Brian Tracy

Just like we need exercise physically, we need to apply Balance in our lives.

To confirm or deny our “theory” we had to go to the Scriptures. We discovered that we could only find two instances where God is extreme. He is extreme in His love for us and extreme in His hatred for sin.

Last week I shared about the importance of self-discipline. Discipline is critical in attaining balance. One definition of Balance is the act of putting something in a secure position, so it does not fail. It’s easy for any of us to get our priorities mixed up and lose our balance. We are wise to remember that having balance doesn’t mean we aren’t engaged or fully invested in a successful outcome. Balance means we are creating a secure place so that we don’t fail.

As I start this next week, I am working on attaining balance in several areas of my life. Knowing when to act, when to remain still. Here’s an article by Huffington Post that I found helpful. It’s all about baIance.

I hope you’re able to find balance as well! We bring glory to God as we display the character of Balance in our lives.

Psalm 46:1

Be still, and know that I am God:

I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Ps 46:10). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

Until our next chat…

Your friend,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

You may also be interested in reading:

Solving life’s problems means we must start with what we know.

The post Balance In An Unbalanced World appeared first on Mrs. Joseph Wood.

I was still warm in bed when I heard one of my teen children come to the bedroom door and whisper, “Momma, are you awake?”  “Yes, come on in,” I replied. At the end of my bed stood a troubled teen. This wasn’t the first time a child couldn’t sleep and needed to talk. After listening for quite some time, I finally heard the question I’ve heard before. “I just don’t know where to start. How do I fix this?”

“Start with what you know,” I responded. “So many times we can get caught up in the size or pain of our problem that we fail to see the first step.”

Solving life’s problems means we must start with what we know.

I remember teaching my children algebra. They would often get stuck looking at a new equation, fearing they couldn’t solve the problem. I would always give them the same words, “Start with what you know.” Before you know it, you’ll know the next step or God will provide someone to direct you once you get to that place. We must only be willing to take that first step and do what we know.

So let’s look at a few of life’s problems and see if we can’t find that first step to doing what we know to do.

Relationship related issues- Let go of what you can’t change, focus on your personal growth, support others, etc

Financial related issues- avoiding unnecessary spending, looking for another source of income, tithing, etc.

Weight-related issues- drinking more water, eating nutrient-rich food, exercising, avoiding processed food, etc

As women, wives, and mothers, we need to face our problems the same way. Soon, what we thought was unsolvable will be behind us. Anchored as a memory that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Php 4:13). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

Until our next chat,

Your friend,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

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I had not thought about discipline recently, nor had I read any books or articles on the topic. Still, the voice repeated in my mind, “Discipline.” Now, I’m not one to “hear voices.” Yet, every so often, out of the blue, timely and necessary reminders come to mind. I am impressed with how God will bring people across my path to confirm something he’s speaking of with me. This morning was no exception.

Later that day, I attended a writers workshop. When the speaker said, “Discipline is the act of making yourself do what you don’t want to do so that you can achieve the results you want.” I thought it was interesting to hear that word again, Discipline. I mulled it over for a few more days before looking up the definition of self-discipline for myself.

Self-Discipline

Merriam-Webster defines self-discipline as the “correction or regulation of oneself for the sake of improvement.”

I know I shouldn’t get stuck on a word, but that’s what was happening. I wanted to dissect this concept of self-discipline so that I could grasp it fully.

Hebrews 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., Heb 12:11). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

1 Cor. 9: 24-27 Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown, but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.

The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version., 1 Co 9:24–27). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

Clearly, I see the value of possessing this character of self-discipline; my personal success is dependent upon it. I can easily lose sight of its value in the noise and busy work I surround me. I’m thankful for mornings like this where simple reminders grow into meaningful messages meant for my good.

Until our next chat…

Your friend,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

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