I do a lot of praying for my family, but always feel like I should be praying more. Praying reminds me that this home is not built by my hands, but by God’s hand alone. There are times when my prayers are about the daily challenges and struggles, but most often I am asking God what our family will look like in three generations, five generations, or more.

I’m often wondering what the future holds.

Will anyone know my name five generations from now?

What trials they will have to face?

How much mercy and goodness will follow them?

It’s not my name that I want generations from now to know; it’s my God that I want them to know. God has done incredible and magnificent things in my life. I often consider my choices based off of how this might look if it’s spoken of when I’m gone. It’s my desire to live intentionally today so that I can leave a crumb trail of God’s mercy behind me, so generations yet to be born can benefit from the truth, “His mercy endureth forever.”

I don’t desire for any grandbabies or great-grandbabies to have my name, but I beg God they will have His engraved on their hearts. I’ve always told the children as they grew, “Go love God more than I do. Be a better parent, a better wife, a better friend.” I don’t want them to be the same or less.

I want the brick and mortar of our family to grow stronger and stronger with each generation.

The brick and mortar of the Home

Layer upon layer each generation builds the family home.

Faith, Love, Patience, Long-suffering, Sacrifice, Hope, Kindness, Gentleness, Forgiveness, Repentance, Hard-work, and the list could go on and on.

Imagine each of these characteristics as bricks and God’s Spirit as the mortar that holds all our feeble attempts together. Consider how marriage is the second foundational layer of the home (the first foundation layer being each relationship with Christ).

The foundation in our family contains some crumbling bricks, unset mortar, and unsecured shallow foundations. I guess we are no different than anyone else.

I am often reminded of the verse found in Proverbs.

Proverbs: 14:1, “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

It’s foolish for us to think that our thoughts, words, or actions are neutral. I’ve had this conversation with many women, “Is what I eat for breakfast really that important?” Well, yes. It feeds your body, which fuels you for the day.

God often reveals the subtle ways I’ve ripped my home apart.

There have been times my hands were guilty of destroying because they were idle, and other times they killed because they were too busy. There have been times I allowed my words to break the hearts of those who listened, and times I failed in remaining silent.

No matter what the situation in front of us, we are wise when we understand the gravity of our choices and how we can use them to propel ourselves, our marriages, and our homes forward.

We build a home, brick upon brick, layer upon layer, and precept upon precept.

Three steps to a proven building plan:

• Check the foundation of your home first by checking the depth of your relationship with Christ.
• Evaluate your marriage and ensure that you are joint heirs together in the grace of life. If not, pray for your spouse. Be an example of God’s love and watch and wait with anticipation at all that God can do.
• Consider your parenting. It’s not your job to show your children a perfect parent. No. You must teach them how to live as forgiven Sinners.

Friends, there will be trials in life and plain old ugly sin that will come in and tear down what’s been built. None of us are escaping this life without trials. So let’s be intentional to respond to them with grace and courage that only comes from Christ.

Homes that thrive aren’t homes that escaped the trials or had no troubles. They aren’t the homes where people made all the right choices. No, homes that thrive are homes that God blessed through humble sinners who did their best.

Let our homes be a testimony on the greatness of God not boasting on us.

With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

The post How to Build a Home: The Brick and Mortar of a Christian Home appeared first on Mrs. Joseph Wood.

Now, onto this week’s post: How Then Should We Behave?

Before we address the details of our behavior, It’s essential for us to establish our role in the marriage. If we know “who” we are in our marriages, it helps us understand “how” we should act in our marriages.

Proverbs 18:22

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing,

The Scripture tells us that a man who finds a wife has found a “good” thing and “obtaineth favor” of the Lord. Proverbs 18:22 has been an instrumental passage for me in learning how I should conduct myself within the home. It’s important for us to remember that our daily lives should be a daily testimony of our faith in Christ. Our behavior should be in such a way that it is “good” and displays the “favor” of God!

In our home, we have consistently told our daughters that they are a princess (my Joe tells them their mommy is too). We don’t say this, so our daughters act like snobs. Instead, we want them to understand that once they give their hearts to Christ, they are royalty and should behave as such!  I think this is easy for us to tell our daughters, but somehow we forget it along the way. We need to remember we are a princess and we should behave as such.

1 Peter 2:9

But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:

We are a royal people! Everything we do should look different! No matter what activity we are involved in we should be living as a daughter of the King, a princess!

Do you know “who” you are in Christ?

Once we know “who” we are we can discover “how” we should behave!

I love that last part of the verse in 1 Peter. “that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.”

It’s critical for the Christian marriage to be a continuation of showing forth the praises of God. Our marriage testimony should praise Him who has called us out of “darkness and into His marvellous light.”

Does your marriage bed resemble this Truth? It should!

As we continue to seek the Word for details on our behave let’s look at these passages of Scripture:

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil. Proverbs 31: 11-12 

House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: And a prudent wife is from the Lord. Proverbs 19:14

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: But she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews13:4 

With the above passages as a reference, what can we learn about our behavior?

First, let’s make sure that our conduct is “safe” for our husbands. We need to ask ourselves does my behavior cause my husband any harm, evil, or spoil?  Is the way I dress, speak, behave “safe” or does it lead them to dangerous thoughts and actions that cause them spiritual harm?  A practical example of this point would be to make sure you’re not allowing things of “darkness” into the bedroom. It’s okay to dress in a way that is attractive to your husband. It is not okay to dress in a way that resembles what the Scriptures refer to as a “strange” woman.

Secondly, we should understand that the application of being prudent in this area of our marriage will protect the future of our marriage. Just consider the definition of prudent, “Acting with or showing care and thought for the future.” Have you given thought to how you can be prudent in this area of your marriage?

• A practical example in this area would be the multiple ways we can show careful thought for the future of our marriage through the present moment. Before you speak or act, ask yourself,  “how does this impact the health of our marriage?” Am I building my marriage up by my actions and words or am I undermining its foundation?  Am I tearing down my home with my own hands?

Intimacy in the Christian marriage was God’s idea; there should be no shame!

Lastly, we need to make sure that we are honoring the marriage union in all of our actions!  It’s vital that we do not want to undermine our marriage in any way. Each of us has been called out of the darkness and into His marvelous light! Therefore, we should not be doing or saying anything that brings shame! If there is shame in these intimate moments, it will only bring rottenness!

Genesis 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Our moments of intimacy in marriage should show forth His praise! God created this act of oneness so that even in this we can declare His Glory!

As you consider these passages, does it help you see a clear picture of how you should behave when dealing with intimacy in the Christian marriage?

Thank you to everyone that took the time to write me. I am encouraged by the comments and messages that came through.I hope this series will give us the opportunity to answer those heart questions that are often too hard to ask. Please write me anytime privately or leave a comment. I want to see your marriage thrive.

In much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

All Scriptures were copied from The Holy Bible: King James Version. (2009). (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version.). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.

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